


The Gods In Their Wisdom... Lied

by theandrogynousdragon



Series: Do Not Steal From Dragons, My Daughter, They Will Never Forgive You [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Amputation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Balinor Lives (Merlin), Balinor comes back too, Blood Magic, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Body Horror, Cailleach has a soft spot for merlin, Catharsis, Dark Merlin (Merlin), Depressed Merlin (Merlin), Hurt Lancelot (Merlin), I am so sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Magical Prosthetic, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), Nerve Damage, Nobody Lives/Everyone Dies, Physical Disability, Possessive Behavior, Powerful Merlin (Merlin), Protective Merlin (Merlin), Right off the bat, Self-Mutilation, Smoking, Sort Of, Survivor Guilt, Touch-Starved, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, and Hunith gets to come back this time because fuck it and also that is her baby goddammit, as a result of the blood magic, because creator deity, borrowing the dragon language from skyrim because i'm lazy and don't know greek, dragonlord powers have some physical markers, fae laws, it takes merlin a few tries to get it right, merlin has a screaming match with a deity, merlin is a mama's boy fight me, playing fast and loose with celtic mythology, so the cycle resets, there's still some death first though, we've got to that stage of grief yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24918592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theandrogynousdragon/pseuds/theandrogynousdragon
Summary: I wrote a follow up where Merlin gets to try again and keep his people this time! Because the first one was so depressing.This is also dark though, fair warning.
Relationships: Lancelot/Merlin (Merlin)
Series: Do Not Steal From Dragons, My Daughter, They Will Never Forgive You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803043
Comments: 8
Kudos: 69





	The Gods In Their Wisdom... Lied

Merlin buried Lancelot two years after the war ended. At least they'd had the time they did. At least Lance had died peacefully. Well, as peacefully as a bottle of pills would allow. Merlin buried Lancelot and went to the Isle of the Blessed for the first time in a thousand years.

Merlin was Emrys. He did not _need_ a blood sacrifice, not really. He tore the Veil open through sheer force of will.

The Cailleach appeared in her righteous fury, to see Emrys put out a cigarette on her altar. He lit another with a flick of his fingers, glaring at her through the smoke.

“ _Why_?” he snarled, his eyes bright gold and bloodshot. “How could you? Give me this hope and tear it all away?” His voice rose almost to a dragon's roar. “They were _mine_ , Cailleach! _My_ people! Mine to protect, to keep so that I could have another _chance_!” His voice broke, but the Cailleach remained silent. “Why? Why did this happen? I don't _understand_!” Tears spilled over his lashes. _Oh, child_. She had, despite herself, always liked the Trifold Goddess's chosen, the boy with dragon blood in his veins. The dragons had been hers, once. No one remembered that. She was the Gatekeeper of the Veil, yes, but she was a creator deity also. And dragons had always belonged to the living and the dead both. They were so full of life, but caused so much death. Her children twice over.

“Their souls are tied to Avalon after their first deaths. They aren't meant to stay with the living. I am sorry, Emrys,” she croaked, wishing her voice was less unsettling. “The Round Table was meant to return when Albion's need was greatest, but the _greatest_ need is always the _present_ one. The Sidhe are still Fae Folk, and their laws are strange that way. They have returned and died many times before now.”

Something hardened, something died, in Emrys' molten eyes. “Then I will _bring them back_. I will _keep_ them, damn the consequences. They are _mine_ , and the Sidhe cannot have them,” the boy growled, sparks curling off his clenched fists.

_Oh dragon child, with so much blood on your hands. Oh my son, with so much fire in your veins_.

“You can try, but it won't be easy, youngling, that I know.”

“When has my life ever been easy?”

_Sharpen your teeth and claws, my son, you are going to need them_.

\---

It didn't work the first time.

(He slaughtered the king of the Sidhe and laid waste to their fortress.)

Or the second.

(He dove deep into necromancy.)

Or the twelfth.

(He tried to kill _himself_ , to see if that could be the catalyst for keeping them alive.)

Or even the twenty-third.

(He went to the underworld and screamed at Arawn to _give them back, please just give them back_ until his voice was hoarse and there was blood in his mouth. But Arawn refused to hear him.)

But Merlin thought he'd finally got it in the year 2020. If he used a blood ritual to gift them a bit of his immortality... it should work.

The ritual needed _a lot_ of blood. And a bit of his flesh, too. Great.

His teeth ground together as he opened the femoral artery, tears pricking at his eyes. It was so _cold_. So cold. Merlin brought the knife down over his left wrist, breaking the bones with magic to make it easier. He bit his lips until they bled, his remaining hand shaking. He drew the sigils in his blood, muttering the words that he'd practiced so much he could say them in his sleep. The severed hand caught fire—oh god, the smell—and there was _light_. So much light. And voices, but he was already fading. So cold... So tired...

Merlin woke up with a pounding head and an ache in his nonexistent left hand. He couldn't feel most of his right leg, sensation petering out somewhere below the knee. He cracked open his eyes with a moan and saw his mother sitting beside his bed. She looked worried. And upset at him, now that he was awake.

“Hullo, Mum.”

“Merlinnus Balinorson Caledonensis.” Ah. Definitely in for a lecture.

“I was just...”

“You _could_ _have_ _died_! You nearly did, fooling about with what Bal told me was _blood_ _magic_! What were you _thinking_?!”

Tears welled up unbidden. “M'sorry, Mum. I just, I couldn't let you die again. I,” he dragged in a shaky breath, “missed you _so_ _much_.”

Hunith scooped him up into her arms. “Oh my boy. My poor boy.” She ran her fingers through his hair and Merlin sobbed. It had been _so_ _long_ since anyone had done this for him. He snuggled into her as best he could, missing a hand and unable to feel most of one leg. His arm felt weirdly heavy, though, come to think of it, and he could swear his fingers were twitching. He looked down and almost screamed.

It looked, at first glance, like someone had attached a gauntlet to what was left of his wrist, only it was a deep green color with a bit of gold mixed in, and there were tiny scales, on closer inspection. What had once been his fingertips ended in thick black talons. “What... the actual... fuck?” he wheezed, his pulse jumping alarmingly.

“Balinor said it's a dragonlord thing. I'm not too sure how that all works. You'd have to ask him.”

“He's here?”

“We all are.”

_Lancelot_. Merlin scrambled up and fell almost immediately. Ah, right. His leg. Dammit. Well, no one ever said he wasn't stubborn. He limped along heavily, his mother right behind him, scolding and saying something about Gaius that he didn't listen to. He stumbled his way into the living room and found the entire Round Table, his father and Ygraine there too. They all turned to look at him, some—mostly Arthur—asking questions, but Merlin only had eyes for one person.

Lancelot, the most noble knight. _Mineminemine_ , Merlin's thoughts whispered, more dragon than man at the moment. _Mineprotectminekeepsafegoodminesafe_. He lunged, and Lance caught him. Merlin curled into him, crooning in the dragon tongue. “Dii krin gein, dii ahmul, dii norok gein.”

He would make _absolutely_ _sure_ they wouldn't be dying this time. The ritual should have worked, but if it hadn't. Well. The gods would tremble at his rage if they tried to steal his family away from him again. He'd tear the very stars down if he had to. 

**Author's Note:**

> Merlin's dragon language translates to "my courageous one, my husband/lover, my fierce/fiercest one"


End file.
